Indian Surrogacy Law Centre recommends the following pointers for choosing of the right surrogate mother:
a) The surrogate needs to be a practical person who is completely aware of every possibility with regard to surrogacy. For this purpose, a proper medical and legal counselling to the surrogate would suffice in the normal circumstances.
b) The surrogate should understand that surrogacy is not a typical pregnancy procedure and there are more issues connected to it which are more complicated.
c) The surrogate also needs to understand that the possibility of conceiving through this method is not that simple and not easy. More importantly, that getting pregnant is something which is not in her hands.
d) The Surrogate must clearly understand that surrogacy is very time consuming and that it takes more a year. The surrogate should not be totally dependent on that money which is coming through surrogacy, as the surrogate tends to become hysterical until the receiving of the money.
e) The surrogate should realise that she will be given a lot of medication and injections during the term of the pregnancy and she should be ready to go through these pains.
f) The spouse of the surrogate must not only accept the process of the surrogate taking part in the surrogacy, but he should also encourage the surrogate. It has been understood that the surrogate would be facing undesirable family problems in cases where she volunteers without the knowledge or acknowledgement of her spouse. More importantly, the surrogate spouse should have been informed about all the possibilities of the surrogacy.
g) The surrogate should be aware of selective reduction. The surrogate mother must clearly understand that conceiving of more than one baby is an inherent possibility and there are high chances for it to take place. In such cases, selective reduction would be a normal process. The surrogate mother should accept selective reduction, if the need arises. Multiples are very common in surrogacy and it cannot be assumed that it cannot happen in your case.
h) The surrogate should fix her own fees to see what according to her is the proper remuneration according. In most of the cases, this would also enable the Intended Parents to understand the attitude of the surrogate.
i) It is most appropriate that the surrogate has had prior proven pregnancies. The whole procedure of surrogacy is extremely expensive for the Intended Parents. The Intended Parents take up all the expenses incurred in this lengthy procedure. It has to be taken into consideration that where the surrogate has already had a proven pregnancy, it would enhance her quality as a surrogate as she has proved her capacity as a child bearer already.
j) Surrogate would be facing unexplainable hardship in parting with the child which she had borne for the term. In such cases, it is most advisable that the surrogate has already got children to whom she can return back, after handing over the child to the Intended Parents.
k) Though the surrogate may be ready mentally for handing over the child, the imbalance of hormones which takes place during the time of pregnancy might bring in mood swings for the surrogate and might destruct all her mental stability. In such cases, it is most advisable that the surrogate mother has already got childrens to whom she can get back after the surrogacy.
l) There exists a possibility that the surrogate mother might never be able to conceive again after undergoing surrogacy. It is most advisable that the surrogate mother has already given birth to children, so that she would not feel exploited in cases the surrogacy leaves behind a situation where she can never bear a child again.
m) The surrogate mother should be a woman of courage who will be able to face independently various constraints which are emotional as well societal.
n) The surrogate mother must take her own independent and autonomous decision to act as a surrogate and to bear the child. The decision to act as a surrogate should not come out of compulsion or out of coercion. This is most important in country like India where woman are not independent to make decisions.
The experience of motherhood is a wonderful experience and the surrogate should wilfully come forward for doing it. It is only then that the Intended Parents as well the surrogate go through the process conveniently and comfortably. More importantly, it is a good deed and it is not advisable for anyone to feel exploited in the process.